Giving positive thoughts the spotlight
If you do one thing for yourself this weekend, I hope that you try this. This is a visualisation practice, linked the Mindfulness, that will help you to encourage your kinder, self esteem boosting thoughts to take centre stage. If you struggle with confidence this can be a great tool. If you've never tried visualisation practice before it's worth noting these view tips.
Find a calm, quiet and comfortable place to be. (I like the Bath, or my bed!)
Keep your mind focused on your image; try hard not to get distracted by other thoughts (e.g. I must paint that patch on the ceiling this weekend)
Don't rush it. Go slowly through the practice and it will have more meaning.
Imagine as many details as you can about the place you are in, from how warm it is, to what it smells like, what you can hear, taste and see, and who else is there. Are the walls made of brick, or plaster and what colour are they? Can you see the sky? Are there clouds? Be as detailed as you possibly can and your concentration will be more easy to maintain.
It can help to have someone read out the following visualisation guide to you, or record it on your phone and listen to it, giving yourself lots of time and pauses between steps so you can create a detailed picture.
Begin the practice by closing your eyes, and taking some calm breaths. Count to 4 as you inhale, hold your breath for a count of 4 and release the full breath for a count of 4. Do this for a minute or so.
Relax your body.
Slowly start to imagine you are standing on a pavement, in the middle of a busy city. Traffic is rushing past you, and you are surrounded by enormous sky scrapers. Take note of what is going on around you. What do you smell? What do you hear? What do you see? Stay in this moment for a minute or so, picturing details.
You become aware of a crowd of people gathering around you. They seem angry, frustrated, annoyed. And more are joining them. They start speaking to you, insulting you. What do they say?
Their voices start getting louder, and some start shouting at you, saying nasty hurtful things. How do these insults make you feel? Listen to their comments, but do not say anything back to them. Spend a minute or so listening to these insults and seeing how they feel.
Slowly begin walking through the crowd of people, keep hearing what they say to you. You slowly start to make your way through, but they bump into you, and get in the way, but you calmly keep walking. You start to feel more space around you on the pavement, but they are still there, walking behind you and following you. You continue to walk calmly away.
You are now walking calmly down the pavement next to the busy street, and the people are still there but you are a short distance ahead. You come to a small alleyway, with a gate across it. You can still hear what they are saying to you, but you have a key to this gate. You put the key in the lock and turn it. Imagine what sound the lock might make. You open the gate and walk into the alleyway. Some of the people try to follow you, but you are stronger than them and you are able to calmly shut and lock the gate. They cannot get through.
What can you see down the alleyway? What do the people look like through the gate? Can you still hear them? You turn your back to them and you walk down the alley. You can see the sunshine collecting in a space at the end of the alleyway and you walk slowly towards this. Look down at the ground, at the walls around you. How do you feel?
You see a garden at the end of the alleyway, with soft green grass and flowers. There is a fountain in the garden, and the sun is warm. You can see the sky. What does the sky look like? You spend a few minutes walking around the garden on the grass, taking in all the sights and sounds and smells. There is a seat by the fountain, and you sit down.
You spend a moment sitting here. Can you still here the people at the gate? How do you feel now?
Now picture a person you know to be kind and caring. They are approaching you in the garden and they sit down. Do they touch you? What do they say when they sit down? Imagine they have seen the people at the gate and heard what they said to you. What does this person say to you? They reassure you and compliment you. What compliment do they give you? They tell you about the things about you they are proud of. What are these things? This kind and caring person sits with you and gives you loving and caring words. You are no longer aware of the crowd, but are listening to what this person says. You spend as long as you want sitting in this place, listening to these words.
How do you feel? Do you believe them when they compliment you? When you are ready to leave, this person will leave with you, walking through the garden and going back to the place where you are laying. When you are ready, focus on the things you want to remember that this person said to you, and open your eyes. Take in where you are, and how you feel. And slowly get up and try to continue to keep these kind words in your mind.
I don't much care for meditation as a practice, as I find it a lot more difficult than visualisation. But this guided visualisation can really help to identify what your self destructive thoughts are (the angry mob) and what your new more positive thoughts are (the kind and caring person you imagined). Try to keep these thoughts with you after the practice, and have an ego-boosting day!
